Build a Portfolio Career

Building a Portfolio Career

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Your Children and Mid-Life Dating

Guest Post by Cara Michaels

As your grown children get older, they may become more protective and territorial of you as their parent.  
The roles somehow seem to reverse and many adult children see themselves in the role of caring for you. If you are someone who has become interested in dating and your children are resistant to the idea, you need to sit down with them. Have a good old-fashioned conversation about your needs and what the boundaries are between you.

If you are divorced or widowed, it’s natural for your children to feel protective when you express your interest in dating.  They know what a jungle the dating world can be.  Also, they probably want to protect you from any scammers that are often prevalent when meeting someone online.  Of course, the obvious reason they are reluctant to have you date, is that they don’t want to share with you anyone else and feel a great loyalty to your departed spouse.

You need to explain carefully to your children, that your wanting to date has nothing to do with lack of loyalty to your ex or deceased spouse.  Explain that you are interested in moving forward with your life and you are looking for companionship.  It’s very difficult for children, even grown children, to see their parent as a man or a woman.  They only see them as Mum or Dad, and they don’t typically take into consideration what your social needs may be.

If you are not Internet-savvy, this is a perfect opportunity to ask your children to help you get up and running on a dating website.  This will make them feel less excluded as you take your next step into the dating world.  In all likelihood, they will be able to offer you great tips and advice for creating an effective online profile and even help you select some of the dates you would ultimately like to meet.

Convince your children that this is a healthy move forward for you and assure them that you will enter this new phase of your life carefully yet confidently.  Perhaps you’re not even looking for the next love of your life; you simply want to go online in order to meet activity partners and such.  Explain this fact as well and your children will be certain to understand.  After all, you cannot continue to count on them for your social life since they have their own lives to lead.  By seeking a dating life, you are asserting your independence and moving forward in a happy and positive way.  Your children will more than likely understand this is a healthy decision.
Author Bio: Cara Michaels is constantly sought after by friends and family for dating and relationship advice. She has taken her knowledge to the web and frequently writes for