Midlife Humour - The Stella Awards

It's time again for the annual 'Stella Awards'! For those  unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico , where she purchased coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right? That' s right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head. So keep your head scratcher handy.

Here are the Stellas for the past year:

* SEVENTH PLACE *

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.

Start scratching!

* SIXTH PLACE *

Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbour's hubcaps.

Scratch some more...

* FIFTH PLACE *

Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just burgled by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open.
Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish.
Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish. Keep scratching. There are more....

Double hand scratching after this one..

* FOURTH PLACE *

Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.

Pick a new spot to scratch, you're getting a bald spot..

* THIRD PLACE *

Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. Whatever happened to people being responsible for their own actions?

Only two more so ease up on the scratching....

* SECOND PLACE *

Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000.....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.  

Ok. Here we go!!

* FIRST PLACE *

This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was:  Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home.

On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich.

Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned.

Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down? $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.

Are we, as a society, getting more stupid.....
or are more members of Congress serving on juries these days?

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Rob Horlock has established The Mid Life Opportunity (www.midlifeop.com), a community for people in Midlife. Advice and Guidance is available from The Mid Life Coaching Panel. It’s free to join - click here

Article Marketing on Steroids

This post is slightly different from my usual posts. I’ve recently come across a great way to multiply the number of links to my site and I thought I’d share it with you. If you are into article marketing, this is for you.


Spin Distribute has created a unique article distribution system. It takes your article, creates 1000s of unique versions of it, and sends these unique articles to 1000s of relevant websites. This way you get 1000s of links from relevant websites, and Google loves you.


I have started using this and it really does work. My Google ranking has definitely improved.


You’ll find the details here: Spin Distribute


Aaron Suster, the founder of Spin Distribute is about to launch a new product called SmileySEO. It is a set of tools to help you to manage your website (and keep an eye on your competitors):

• If there is something wrong with your website, the system will immediately send you an email about it. 
• If you exchange links with someone, the system will monitor your partner to make sure the links to your website are still published. 
• You can track your position in search engines.
• You can create an analysis of your own website, or your competitor’s website. 
• You can find the best keywords to expand your business.

Details of SmilySEO are here: Smiley SEO

Yes, these are affiliate links. Regular readers will know that I rarely promote products and when I do, they are products that I know will work.


Try them and see for yourself!

How to Reignite the Spark in Midlife Relationships

Guest post by Devon Solinger Berger, CPC, ELI-MP


Midlife is often a period of time where people experience major transitions. It is perfectly normal even when it seems outrageous. If you can remember just that one statement, you are already headed down the track to peace and tranquility. The good news is that by the time you reach midlife, you have lived enough to have acquired some valuable knowledge. The key is how you utilize this knowledge to help you to not only survive, but thrive in this chapter of life.

One of the biggest relationship transitions that most people are not aware of involves the possibility that both yours and your partner’s essential human needs have shifted.  There are several human needs we all have and if all of them are being met, we are experiencing blissful fulfillment. If only some of them are being met, we are happy and content. However, if none of them are being met within the relationship, it is human nature to seek to have them met elsewhere. 

This is the list most widely accepted by relationship experts: 
- to feel loved or bonded with another person, 
- to feel important or valued, 
- security and comfort, 
- spontaneity or variety, 
- to grow and develop, 
- to make a contribution to others.

If you take a look at the list, you might begin to identify with a couple of these more than the others. If you take an even closer look at your life, you might even see how the importance of these has shifted. When you first got together with your partner, your needs may have been completely different and the reason the relationship seemed to work so well was that you were able to meet each other needs-- sometimes without even realizing it!

People’s needs change over time and we sometimes are not aware of this fact. Since we aren’t aware of it, we certainly can’t clue our partners in on the change either. 
Unconsciously, you both began seeking to have your new needs met in other ways, because your partner was not satisfying them for you.

For example, when women become mothers they can often have their need for love and bonding met in the relationship with their children. One possible consequence of this is that her partner feels excluded and unloved. To compensate, he seeks to have that need met by spending more time at work or with friends and avoids the home.

Sound familiar?  Have no fear!  The awareness alone empowers you to make a change and to save your relationship!

First, figure out what your most important needs are and how they are currently being met or not met. Then, share openly with your partner. Figure out what his or her needs are and make an effort to fulfill those needs within your relationship. This might sound a little unfair to you, but remember that it is incredibly effective AND it is the key to taking your relationship to the next level of everlasting and blissful love!


Devon Solinger Berger, CPC, ELI-MP    Art of Relationship Life Coaching
973.615.4077

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Rob Horlock has established The Mid Life Opportunity (www.midlifeop.com), a community for people in Midlife. Advice and Guidance is available from The Mid Life Coaching Panel. It’s free to join - click here

Do you suffer from Panic Attacks?

Your heart starts beating fast. You start sweating. The walls start closing in and you feel light headed. You want to run away from the feelings and sensations but your body cannot move.

Sound familiar? If you’ve ever had a panic attack then you know they can sneak up on you when you least expect it. And chances are you want to know why you had one. Many midlifers suffer from panic attacks or anxiety caused by a number of reasons which are highlighted below.

Speculating will get you nowhere. (And might even cause more panic attacks.)

What you need are some good solid facts. Here are the most common reasons for panic attacks.

#1 Major life transitions. We’re talking about moving, divorce or marriage, job loss, money worries or having a baby. There are expectations and tremendous anxiety placed on these events.

#2 Fears/Phobias. If you have a fear of heights for example and go to the top of the Empire State Building, a panic attack may occur.

#3 Health & Nutrition Problems. Interestingly enough there are many nutrient deficiencies and health conditions that cause panic attacks including:

• Mitral valve prolapse
• Zinc or magnesium deficiencies
• Hyperthyroidism
• Hypoglycemia
• Stimulants like caffeine
• Medication withdrawal

Panic attacks are your body’s way of setting off the alarm systems. They’re letting you know something isn’t right. If you’re being chased by a bear then it makes sense to panic. If you’re simply driving to work or shopping, your alarm system is malfunctioning.

There are real, natural, ways you can manage and eliminate your panic attacks. I recently came across Paul David, who has written a book on this subject. An ex-sufferer himself, Paul explains what he went through and how he overcame his fears. Visit Overcome Your Anxieties to learn more about eliminating the anxiety and panic attacks in your life

To Your Good Health & Happiness!

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Rob Horlock has established The Mid Life Opportunity (www.midlifeop.com), a community for people in Midlife. Advice and Guidance is available from The Mid Life Coaching Panel. It’s free to join - click here

If you always do what you've always done...

We all know the saying 'If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got' (or words to that effect). But in today's harsh economic climate, is this still true? If we always do what we've always done, the chances are that we won't get what we've always got, we'll get less! Why? Because our competitors are trying harder. The goalposts have moved and if we don't do things differently, we'll actually be moving backwards, relative to others.

The reward for the same effort will be smaller. Make sense?

So what to do? The obvious answer is to work harder at what we do. The less obvious answer is to work smarter at what we do. Here are five ways to work smarter:

1. Set yourself ONE goal.
Yes, you want to have several goals, and that's fine, but set one primary goal. A goal that you really MUST achieve. This can be a long term goal, a medium term goal or a short term goal. If it's a substantial goal, break it down into smaller goals, with timelines, so that you can see how you are progressing towards your primary goal. Have other goals by all means, but don't lose sight of the primary goal.

2. Get organised
We all know this, but how organised are you? How many of the tasks that you do are duplicated? How often do you mislay documents (printed or electronic?) and spend too much time looking for them - or worse still, rewriting them?
Organise your filing systems, especially your electronic files. Give each of your electronic files a sensible name and the date that you saved it. Don't call it 'Jane's file', call it 'Jane's workplan - 12/2/2011' That way, you've got a fighting chance of finding it again. If you share files with other people, a sensible filename will save you both time.
Clear your desk and work with the papers that you need at that time. Don't surround yourself with papers and post it notes that will distract you from the task in hand.

3. Delegate
What tasks can you delegate to others? Do you have a virtual assistant? Concentrate on doing the things that you're good at and delegate other specialist tasks to others who can do them quicker, more efficiently and more effectively. Can't afford to do that? What about trading work - you help me and I'll help you. This doesn't work in all situations but you'll be surprised how often it can work - ask the question!

4. Plan your work
This is something else that we all know we should be doing but how many of us really plan our days, our weeks and our months? How many objectives do we set ourselves? Don't go overboard and plan everything down to the finest detail (especially your leisure time) but do give yourself a chance by thinking about what you need to do and writing a plan, however brief. If you don't know where you're going, you'll never know when you get there.

5. Do one thing at a time
This follows on from point 2 above. It's very easy to get distracted - Facebook and Twitter can eat time if you let them (and you do, don't you?!)
If you have a portfolio career, or you work on several projects simultaneously, it is very easy to get distracted. The phone may ring and someone needs to ask you a question about a project which you're not working on at the time. Answer the question, then get back to the project which you were working on without  meandering off and wondering why the person asked you the question.

Do the IMPORTANT tasks before the easy ones (and the ones you like doing). Don't put things off! So don't always do what you've always done - do something smarter!

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Rob Horlock has established The Mid Life Opportunity (www.midlifeop.com), a community for people in Midlife. Advice and Guidance is available from The Mid Life Coaching Panel. It’s free to join - click here

A post from Seth Godin

A post by Seth Godin which is relevant to people in midlife everywhere

Cashing the check

A check in your wallet does you very little good. It represents opportunity, sure, but not action.

Most of us are carrying around a check, an opportunity to make an impact, to do the work we're capapble of, to ship the art that would make a difference.

No, the world isn't fair, and most people don't get all the chances they deserve. There are barriers due to income, to race, to social standing and to education, and they are inexcusable and must fall. But the check remains, now more than ever. The opportunity to step up and to fail (and then to fail again, and to fail again) and to continue failing until we succeed is greater now than it has ever been.

As Martin Luther King Junior spoke about a half a lifetime ago,

"We are now faced with the fact, my friends, that tomorrow is today. We are confronted with the fierce urgency of now. In this unfolding conundrum of life and history, there is such a thing as being too late. Procrastination is still the thief of time. Life often leaves us standing bare, naked, and dejected with a lost opportunity. The tide in the affairs of men does not remain at flood -- it ebbs. We may cry out desperately for time to pause in her passage, but time is adamant to every plea and rushes on. Over the bleached bones and jumbled residues of numerous civilizations are written the pathetic words, "Too late."

See Seth Godin's blog at:  http://sethgodin.typepad.com/

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Rob Horlock has established The Mid Life Opportunity (www.midlifeop.com), a community for people in Midlife. Advice and Guidance is available from The Mid Life Coaching Panel. It’s free to join - click here

Middle aged women in the media

Extract from Amanda Platell's column in The Daily Mail

Countryfile presenter Miriam O’Reilly’s ­victory in her ageism battle with the BBC has been hailed as a historic decision for women of a certain age everywhere. Sorry, it was nothing of the sort.

Even if the BBC does put more mid-life women on our screens (which I very much doubt), the obsession with youth and beauty at the expense of wisdom and experience will continue to blight the lives of ordinary women in wider society.

Politicians bend over backwards to promote the rights of minorities on the grounds of their sexuality, race and religion. Yet the most neglected and ignored sector is the forty- and fifty-something mothers and wives who form the backbone of our society.

They are the glue that holds families together. They’ve lived life and have the wrinkles to prove it. They love a good time and have the laughter lines to match. A few kids and a passion for cooking means they’re not a perfect size 12 any more.
But unless they look like Carol Vorderman, they are treated as second-class citizens. Few shops make clothes to suit them. Few politicians are interested in their views. Few magazines cater for their interests. And, of course, few TV shows are made for them — or by them.

The cult of youth has all but air-brushed them out of existence. And in truth, we’re all guilty of overlooking them.

If you don’t believe me, try thinking of the last time you walked down a High Street. Doubtless, you noticed the pretty girls, couldn’t resist peeking into a pram at a bonny baby, or watched with concern as a little old lady made her way across the road.

But when did you last notice a middle-aged mum, the quiet achievers who raise our nation’s children, care for our elderly and keep our families together?
Yes, the BBC’s treatment of Miriam O’Reilly was appalling and blatantly ageist, just as it was towards Arlene Phillips and Moira Stuart. But it isn’t just the BBC that needs to readjust its attitude.
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Rob Horlock has established The Mid Life Opportunity (www.midlifeop.com), a community for people in Midlife. Advice and Guidance is available from The Mid Life Coaching Panel. It’s free to join - click here