Are you a Mid Lifer?

Simplistically, we might conclude that a Mid Lifer is someone between the ages of say, mid thirties to late fifties. Mid Life, though, is a state of mind as much as a physical age. So you may be older (or younger) and still consider yourself to be a Mid Lifer.

Typically, many of your habits will be set – you know what you like to drink, the type of holidays that you enjoy, the clothes that you wear and your hobbies, for example. These won’t be set in stone and may change as you grow older but by and large, you know who you are and you know what you want.

Some Mid Lifers may have young families as they have delayed parenthood whilst enjoying their youth. Others may have a young family with a second partner. At the other end of the family spectrum, some Mid Lifers will have seen their children leave home and this may lead to life changing decisions – moving house, reviewing their career, taking early retirement for example.

Mid Lifers may be carers for their elderly parents or they may have experienced the trauma of their parents passing away.

Many Mid Lifers spent their youth swearing that there would never be a generation gap between them and their children – then finding themselves wondering why their offspring listen to ‘such mindless music’ and have such odd hairstyles.

Some Mid Lifers will feel that they’ve reached the top of the ‘bell curve’ and it’s all downhill from here. These are the people that often experience a ‘mid life crisis’ with all the negative aspects that this holds for them and their family and friends.

This will be the future for some Mid Lifers but it doesn’t have to be. As Henry Ford once famously said ‘Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can’t, you’re usually right’. So mid life may be a time of retrospection and review and your conclusion may be that your best days are behind you. More positively, you might conclude that the experience and learning that you’ve gained in your younger years provide you with the springboard to greater things in the second half of your life.

Life is always full of opportunities – the trick is in recognising them for what they are.

The Mid Life Opportunity highlights all of the positive aspects of Mid Life whilst also recognising that not everyone is in this happy place.

If you have issues with your career, finances, relationships or your health you will be able to find Advice and Guidance from experts in their field. Experts who can help you to see that your coping skills, experiences, maturity and accumulated wisdom can increase your confidence and show you the way through your current crisis to a brighter future.

Thanks for your interest in The Mid Life Opportunity and do please join the community and add your voice. There is a form to the right of this blog or at: The Mid Life Opportunity – www.MidLifeOp.com

The Mid Life blog: http://MidLifeOp.blogspot.com

Changing Jobs in Mid Life

I recently had a slightly surreal experience which set me thinking about the way that we each view our world.

We arranged to take a long weekend break in Europe that involved getting a taxi to the station, arriving at 4am – an early start! The taxi duly dropped us off just before 4 and we were blearily taking our cases out of the car when a 20something lad wandered up and asked the taxi driver if he could take him home.

So here we were, talking to the same taxi driver about the same taxi but from a completely different perspective – we were starting our day and looking forward to going to France and our 20something friend was ending a long night out and looking forward to his bed.  We were in the same place but viewing the situation from a completely different perspective.

The same is true of politics – I can see it’s the government’s fault, you blame the world crisis. We’re both looking at the same situation.

And music – we listen to the same song – you love it, I hate it.

What about the mid life relationship crisis? Let’s say that your friend becomes involved with a young bride or a toy boy. Whether the new love interest is from Russia, Thailand or from the same country as your friend, do they really think that it’s all going to have a happy ending? You don’t, they do …

So what do we learn from this? That we all view the world with different eyes? This probably indicates that Mid Lifers typically see things differently to younger people. Mid Lifers have more experience to draw on, more real life examples of what works and what doesn’t – the generation gap, if you like. In the world of work, does this prejudice younger people (the hiring managers) against Mid Lifers?

If you’re looking to change jobs, or need to find a new job because you’ve been made redundant, ask yourself where you are most likely to be successful and happy. You will probably have a lot of transferable skills but that doesn’t mean that they can be transferred everywhere. Think about where you are most likely to be happy – that is probably going to be where you can also add most value. If you’ve worked in the customer service department of a big company and you like gardening, working in a large garden centre might strike the right notes for you. If you’re in your 40s, worked in local government for the last 15 years and play in a band at weekends, you’re very unlikely to be happy working in the media. Do you see the difference?

Working in a garden centre ticks the ‘gardening’ box, the ‘customer service’ box and the ‘midlife’ box.

Working in the media ticks the ‘music’ box but most definitely doesn’t tick the ‘mid life’ box – the media is populated with young, thrusting ‘metrosexuals’ who are unlikely to share most of your midlife views of the world.

So understand that we all view the world from different standpoints and that this may affect your chances of landing that new job and ultimately, your likelihood of being happy and productive in your new role. Think about the working environments in which your views and those of your potential new boss and colleagues are likely to coincide rather than conflict – this is where you will find happiness and fulfilment in your work.

Sounds obvious? Maybe, but how many Mid Lifers think they know better!

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The Mid Life Opportunity (www.MidLifeOp.com) is a community for Mid Lifers. Advice and Guidance will soon be available from The Mid Life Coaching Panel. It’s free to join so what are you waiting for? Join here FREE!

Please take 1 minute to complete the 2010 Mid Life Survey: Click here

What happened to We? What became of Us?

Most of us Mid Lifers will recall eating  meals together as a family and then sitting down to watch a TV programme together. Perhaps we still do. Our parents will remember the days before TV when they might have gathered round the piano to sing songs, play card games and enjoy other party games as a group.

In many, perhaps most, households today these scenes are unrecognisable. Children eat meals at different times from their parents and often in their bedroom. They watch different TV programmes on different TV sets in different rooms. They may catch up with missed programmes on an iplayer on their laptop. They will certainly be using the internet, talking to virtual friends while the rest of the family are doing their own thing. In some cases, the parents may be sitting in the same room watching different programmes on their laptops or surfing the web using headphones.

What has happened to family interaction? What are the consequences of this breakdown in family gatherings? The members of the family may all be fine in themselves and the family may be a strong unit but how will this ‘individualisation’ affect people’s lives in the future?

We are already seeing a growth in the ‘I’ culture. People think of themselves first, others second. The concept of neighbourliness and helping others is fast disappearing. When the great names of the Industrial Revolution made their fortunes they ploughed much of it back into their communities – building civic buildings, improving the housing of their workers or setting up Foundations to help the poor escape from poverty. How many of today’s high earners think the same way? Not so many, though, as always, there are notable exceptions.

When you travel on public transport or walk down the street, how many people do you see wearing earplugs, listening to music? How aware are they of the ambient noise around them? They have very little interaction with others, content to move along in their own private worlds.

People are becoming more focussed on their own world, real and virtual and less concerned about the effects of their actions on others.

It is ‘Me’ not ‘We’ and ‘I’ not ‘Us’.  Discuss …

The community for Mid Lifers: www.MidLifeOp.com and the associated blog: http://MidLifeOp.blogspot.com