The 2010 MidLife Lifestyle Survey – Results

Note: this is a long post, you may only want to read  the main points!

As we’ve reached the mid point of the year, it’s time to review the results of the 2010 MidLife Lifestyle survey. So here are the headlines:

Survey Respondents’ Profile:

Male: 36%,  Female: 64%

Age: 30-40: 5%, 40-50: 32%, 50-60 49%, other: 14%

Location: UK 47%, USA 42%, Europe 5%, other 6%

Q1 - Happiness with Life:

55% of respondents were either happy or very happy with their lives at the moment. A further 32% were ‘OK.’ The remainder were either unhappy or very unhappy

Q2 - How is your Relationship?

26% of respondents said that they were happy and an encouraging 32% said that they were in love. Perhaps more worryingly, 19% said that ‘they don’t do relationships’. 22% were just ‘OK’.

Comments in this section included:

‘I've been divorced for about 20 years. I don't long for a relationship. I'm so busy with kids and grands, I never think of "being alone." In fact, when folks ask if there are any singles in the group... I look around to see who they might be talking about. I'm not single. I'm not married. I'm just a very happy me!’

‘31 years of marriage both now have a PHD in marriage’

‘I feel fortunate to have a partnership that works. Not that there are not disagreements, there are. We just know how to solve them.’

‘I find it ironic that the biggest decision you make in your life happens for most in their late teens. I wish I could have been the person I am now making relationship decisions.’

‘but it's with myself!’

Q3 – Will your Pension provide for you?

A worryingly high 26% of respondents don’t have a pension, while 22% felt that their pension would cover their needs in later life. A huge 32% regretted not saving more during their earlier years. 18% had other investments, either instead of, or as well as, a pension.

Comment in this section included:

‘We are never retiring but hope to get refired!’ (love it!)

‘I saved like heck and had a wonderful retirement. The down turns in the stock market have wiped me out. Now I feel I'm starting from scratch.’

‘I do not plan to retire. I believe in being productive right up to the end.’

‘I'm hopeful that my financial situation will change. However, I know it is up to me to make it change’

‘I am still saving and investing’

‘I am working on passive income and believe it will cover expenses plus more.’

Q4- How Healthy are you?

43% said that they were OK for their age and 28% felt they were Pretty Fit. 25% were overweight, to some extent. 4% said that they could ‘Run a Marathon’.

One respondent had a problem this question, as they felt that someone who is overweight could still run a marathon. I completely accept that this is quite true and I wasn’t trying to mislead when I wrote the questions.

Q5-Is your life better or worse than your parents lives?

This question caused confusion for several people and when I rerun the survey I will reword it. Some respondents felt that there should be a distinction between the financial side of their lives and the emotional/satisfaction side of things.

Overall 87% felt that their lives were better than their parents’ lives.

Comments in this section included:

‘There should be "about the same" choice here. My parents had a nice life, and mine is nice too. Not really better or worse. I did not have children, and they raised myself and my siblings - so their young life might have been worse than mine.’

‘My dad made enough for my mom to stay home w/the 2 kids, but they went without a lot of stuff. Both my husband and I work (I'm in my own business, coming up on year 2) so the money's not always there, and that adds a lot of stress to him.’

‘My dad was a happy person and my mother was very unhappy. It was a big division they could never figure out.’

‘Much more emotionally healthy but not better financially yet.’

‘That's a tough question...I don't see it as worse, I see it as different. I chose worse because of financial situations.’

‘My parents never led spiritual lives. As a result, they never really experienced the joy that they could have, and wanted to have, yet they wonder why everything turned out the way it did. It was all due to their personal choices. I meant my life would be different and that I would break that cycle, or curse that tried to be injected into my thinking. I did so by searching for the real meaning of happiness and disregarding all of the negative circumstances that I lived in, and learned that many things I was taught while growing up wasn't my truth. I knew life was not supposed to be lived that way at a very early age. Now I feel as though God set me apart from my family as I have yet to see those changes take place within them. The sad thing about it...I cannot impart that to them. It's too late. I worry about their salvation because of this.’

‘ think I'm happier, but they are wealthier’

Q6- How do you feel about your Life in General?

An encouraging 63% are looking forward to the rest of their lives and 28% feel that ‘the best is yet to come’ (many of these will be the same people). 7% wish they’d studied harder when they were young and 18% are worried about the rest of their lives. A strong theme was a worry about the world that their children will live in with 19% indicating this (see comments below).

Comments in this section included:

‘I can't keep worrying about "what had happened", because it's in the past - so it can't be changed. It can be learned from, however, so hopefully I'll continue to grow as I ripen with age. I do worry about the world my kids are inheriting, but hopefully we'll give them the tools they'll need to make a difference :)’

‘I am concerned about the problems my kids and grand kids run up against, but I am not worried. I actively work to make it better.’

‘But I do worry about the world my children live in to some extent. Healing the planet in an emotional, spiritual sense, as well as ecologically, is important to me.’

‘Overall, pretty good.’

‘Counting my Blessings!’

Conclusions:

So what do we conclude from this survey? Overall, there was a broad spectrum of responses with the majority of midlifers feeling that their lives are going 'OK to Well' but a worrying number feel that there financial provision could be better. Given the state of the world economy, that’s not a huge surprise.

Relationships are a very mixed bag, probably reflecting the fact that many midlifers will have ended a long term relationship (either willingly or unwillingly). I was surprised to see that almost a fifth of respondents ‘don’t do relationships’. It would be interesting to probe deeper into those responses.

It’s encouraging that the majority of midlifers are looking forward to the rest of their lives. Equally encouraging is the concern over the world that our children and grandchildren will live in and the hope is that some of us will actively try to make this better.

It will be interesting to see how the 2011 MidLife Lifestyle Survey compares. If you have any questions that you would like me to include in the next survey, please let me know.

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The Mid Life Opportunity (www.MidLifeOp.com) is a community for Mid Lifers. Advice and Guidance will soon be available from The Mid Life Coaching Panel. It’s free to join so what are you waiting for? Complete the form on the right hand side of this post…Tx

The Aura of Power

Here is an excerpt from columnist Quentin Letts (recommended read if you’ve never heard of him) who was reporting an exchange in the British House of Commons between Michael Gove and Ed Balls. Conservative Michael Gove has just been appointed Education Secretary in the new Coalition government...

“For years he has cut a pigeon-chested figure, never quite seeming to fill his single-breasted suits, always looking as though he could do with some more mashed potato on his plate.

Yesterday (after his appointment) he cut a chunkier figure. It was almost as though office had bulked him out and had made him plant his feet more stoutly on the floor.

The suit looked more expensive, too.

This once spindly, now almost sleek, Secretary of State refused to show contrition for newspaper leaks about his schools policy... (etc)”

When people are in positions of power they seem to grow in stature. It’s not so much body language as an ‘aura’ around them which gives them this stature. They appear confident, positive and self-assured. If you don’t necessarily believe in them, at least you can respect them.

The reverse is true when they lose their positions of power. I have worked for two directors who, when they lost their jobs, seemed to visibly shrink in size. Suddenly, they lost their aura and they looked very ordinary indeed.

Why is this? They are the same people and their personalities haven’t changed. Yet their whole being is diminished.

Do we build them up in our minds? Are we overawed by them or is their something more?

I believe there’s something more, but I don’t know what it is!  What do you think?

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The Mid Life Opportunity (www.MidLifeOp.com) is a community for Mid Lifers. Advice and Guidance will soon be available from The Mid Life Coaching Panel. It’s free to join so what are you waiting for? Join here FREE!

Please take 1 minute to complete the 2010 Mid Life Survey: Click here

Nipping It in the Bud

Today I have been spraying weeds with weedkiller. Nettles, Docks, Buttercups, Thistles and Ragwort grow rapidly at this time of the year and if they aren’t kept under control, they will be covering the fields and there’ll soon be no grass left for the horses to eat. We have a backpack which holds 20 litres of diluted weedkiller – 20 litres of liquid is quite heavy when you have to lift it up behind you and strap it to your back! It’s a horrible job and one that I’ve been putting off for several weeks. 

The result of this prevarication is that some of the weeds are huge and they will require more than one dose of weedkiller to finish them off. So I’ll have to do the job again in a couple of weeks - I’ve made the job harder and longer than it should have been.

The parallels in the world of work are obvious. When issues and problems arise, how often do we wait and see if they will resolve themselves? How often do we leave them and hope that they will be insignificant in the overall scheme of things? Do we avoid confrontation, which would resolve the matter, in favour of short term harmony? 

Do we do the things we LIKE to do, rather than doing the things we NEED to do?

In almost every instance that you can think of, it is better to get the job done early before it develops into a major headache.

What are you putting off until tomorrow? Don’t leave it until you need to apply the weedkiller for the second time!

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The Mid Life Opportunity (www.MidLifeOp.com) is a community for Mid Lifers. Advice and Guidance will soon be available from The Mid Life Coaching Panel. It’s free to join so what are you waiting for? Join here FREE!

Please take 1 minute to complete the 2010 Mid Life Survey: Click here

Changing Jobs in Mid Life

I recently had a slightly surreal experience which set me thinking about the way that we each view our world.

We arranged to take a long weekend break in Europe that involved getting a taxi to the station, arriving at 4am – an early start! The taxi duly dropped us off just before 4 and we were blearily taking our cases out of the car when a 20something lad wandered up and asked the taxi driver if he could take him home.

So here we were, talking to the same taxi driver about the same taxi but from a completely different perspective – we were starting our day and looking forward to going to France and our 20something friend was ending a long night out and looking forward to his bed.  We were in the same place but viewing the situation from a completely different perspective.

The same is true of politics – I can see it’s the government’s fault, you blame the world crisis. We’re both looking at the same situation.

And music – we listen to the same song – you love it, I hate it.

What about the mid life relationship crisis? Let’s say that your friend becomes involved with a young bride or a toy boy. Whether the new love interest is from Russia, Thailand or from the same country as your friend, do they really think that it’s all going to have a happy ending? You don’t, they do …

So what do we learn from this? That we all view the world with different eyes? This probably indicates that Mid Lifers typically see things differently to younger people. Mid Lifers have more experience to draw on, more real life examples of what works and what doesn’t – the generation gap, if you like. In the world of work, does this prejudice younger people (the hiring managers) against Mid Lifers?

If you’re looking to change jobs, or need to find a new job because you’ve been made redundant, ask yourself where you are most likely to be successful and happy. You will probably have a lot of transferable skills but that doesn’t mean that they can be transferred everywhere. Think about where you are most likely to be happy – that is probably going to be where you can also add most value. If you’ve worked in the customer service department of a big company and you like gardening, working in a large garden centre might strike the right notes for you. If you’re in your 40s, worked in local government for the last 15 years and play in a band at weekends, you’re very unlikely to be happy working in the media. Do you see the difference?

Working in a garden centre ticks the ‘gardening’ box, the ‘customer service’ box and the ‘midlife’ box.

Working in the media ticks the ‘music’ box but most definitely doesn’t tick the ‘mid life’ box – the media is populated with young, thrusting ‘metrosexuals’ who are unlikely to share most of your midlife views of the world.

So understand that we all view the world from different standpoints and that this may affect your chances of landing that new job and ultimately, your likelihood of being happy and productive in your new role. Think about the working environments in which your views and those of your potential new boss and colleagues are likely to coincide rather than conflict – this is where you will find happiness and fulfilment in your work.

Sounds obvious? Maybe, but how many Mid Lifers think they know better!

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The Mid Life Opportunity (www.MidLifeOp.com) is a community for Mid Lifers. Advice and Guidance will soon be available from The Mid Life Coaching Panel. It’s free to join so what are you waiting for? Join here FREE!

Please take 1 minute to complete the 2010 Mid Life Survey: Click here

The Mid Life Survey

How do you feel about your life? Are you happy in your relationships? Is your career going well? Are you saving enough for your retirement? Do you have any pertinent observations that you would like to share with the rest of us?

The Mid Life Survey is a short survey – only 7 questions – which has been running since last month. It is designed to give a snapshot of how midlifers (and others) are feeling about aspects of their lives today.

I will be publishing the results to date in my last blog post in June, so regular readers will be able to agree or disagree with the findings.

Can I please ask you to take 1 minute to complete the survey (link below) – about 100 people have completed it so far and I’d like to double that number by the end of June.

So far, 61% of the respondents are from the UK, 24% from the USA, 2% from Canada, 9% from mainland Europe and 4% are from Asia. Let’s see how that changes during June!

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The Mid Life Opportunity (www.MidLifeOp.com) is a community for Mid Lifers. Advice and Guidance will soon be available from The Mid Life Coaching Panel. It’s free to join so what are you waiting for?

Please take 1 minute to complete the 2010 Mid Life Survey: Click here

So what is The Mid Life Opportunity?

Yesterday I said that I would explain a little more about the aims of The Mid Life Opportunity. So here goes …

In the UK, there are about 20 million people who would class themselves as ‘middle aged’. As people move through their lives, they are affected in different ways. Success in life brings more choice, a brighter future and the potential of a happy retirement. An unfulfilled life, though, leaves fewer options as we grow older. Finances may be tight, relationships may be under strain or broken, our career may not have peaked at the heights that we hoped for in our younger years. As we grow older, many of us find that spiritualism and religion begins to have more meaning. We may feel the need to emigrate and settle in a new country. Our health may be declining and retirement looms ever nearer – are we prepared for this?

Many people in the middle years of their lives find themselves at a crossroads. 

Big decisions have to be made before it is too late in life to make the changes. For some, the decisions made at this point open up a whole new world of opportunities, greater satisfaction and financial stability. For others, the decisions may not go to plan and a ‘mid life crisis’ develops which can often lead to more wrong decisions and long term decline.

As the decade progresses, many more people will find themselves having to make these crucial decisions, primarily as a result of redundancy, inadequate financial provision or relationship breakdown.

The Mid Life Opportunity (www.MidLifeOp.com) aims to pull together all aspects of ‘mid life’ into one central website and provide stimulation, advice, guidance and support in all these areas. Oh, and a splash of humour to keep everyone amused along the way.

A panel of coaches is being recruited (if you are interested and outside of the UK, you are very welcome to join) to offer the advice and guidance to The Mid Life Opportunity members.

As I said yesterday, we are aiming to go live in August and we will have one of two surprises as part of the launch package – watch this space!

Once again, if you have any questions about me or The Mid Life Opportunity, please ask!

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The Mid Life Opportunity (www.MidLifeOp.com) is a community for Mid Lifers. Advice and Guidance will soon be available from The Mid Life Coaching Panel. It’s free to join so what are you waiting for?

Please take 1 minute to complete the 2010 Mid Life Survey: Click here

Why Men Get Hormonal in Mid Life, Too

Guest post by Liberty Kontranowski

When women experience menopause, blame for any kind of hot flush, emotional outburst or lost night of sleep suddenly has a scapegoat. Something’s wrong? It’s “The Change.” Feeling weepy? “The Change.” The car won’t start? It’s because of “The Change,” don’t you know? Everything, and I mean everything gets blamed on The Change.

But what about men? Don’t they experience a time in their lives when physical changes couple up with hormonal ones and they become one giant mess, just like their female counterparts? Indeed, they do. In fact, science has documented such a phenomenon and has given it a most fitting name: Manopause. Well actually, the scientific name for it is andropause, but I like Manopause much, much better.

Here, a look at Manopause and its symptoms. The hows and whys concerning the manly version of The Change.

Symptoms:
 1. Decreased sex drive; trouble achieving and/or sustaining erections (impotence)  To learn more about this, you can view an article about Andropause and how Viagra can help.
2. Lack of energy; sense of lethargy; decrease in strength or endurance; difficulty sleeping
3. Sadness, grouchiness, despair; decrease in life enjoyment; decreased performance at work, home or other obligations; anger, anxiety, memory loss
4. Decrease in muscle mass; thinning bones; weight gain
5. Night sweats

Causes:
Beginning at age 30, men begin losing testosterone little by little (about one percent a year) throughout midlife and beyond. Thus, manopause tends to be a gradual change that can last many years, whereas female menopause happens more quickly and ends within a couple of years.

Treatment:
Manopause sufferers can see great results when treated with Testosterone Replacement Therapy. The primary goal of TRT is to restore sexual functions, enhance bone density (in an effort to ward off osteoporosis) and to bring about a sense of mental wellness and overall well-being.

When treated correctly, not only will regular testosterone levels be achieved, but the secondary hormones related to testosterone (DHT and estradiol) will be positively affected as well.

Currently, Testosterone Replacement therapies can be found in pill form, injectables (shots), implantable long-acting slow release pellets, patches and gels.  As with any medications, be sure you discuss your medical history at length with your doctor before deciding on the best type of therapy. TRT can have some negative side effects, so weighing the risks versus the benefits is certainly in order.
While living with Manopause is no picnic, it is encouraging to know that the medical community has recognized it as a real, treatable condition. Recognizing symptoms for what they are and being tested for low testosterone levels can be the first step in determining whether or not you’re suffering with andropause and if so, whether you’re a candidate for Replacement Therapy.

Now, go grab yourself a hand fan and blame your fiftieth hot flush of the day on what else...? The Change!

Liberty Kontranowski is a valued writer and blogger on the eDrugstore.MD writing team, with hundreds of health articles published online and in print.  eDrugstore.MD, a US located online pharmacy prescribes lifestyle medications such as Cialis Online. 

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The Mid Life Opportunity (www.MidLifeOp.com) is a community for Mid Lifers. Advice and Guidance will soon be available from The Mid Life Coaching Panel. It’s free to join so what are you waiting for?
If you would like some help now with aspects of your life, contact Better Life Coaching: www.betterlifecoaching.co.uk

7 ways for Mid Lifers to conquer their shyness in the workplace - has your shyness held you back?

Guest post by Simon Stapleton - Workplace Survival Guru for Professionals

7 Ways to Conquer Shyness in the Workplace:

The problem is, shyness leads to avoidance of contact with other people, but other people often perceive it as aloofness, arrogance or being ’snooty’. When in fact, it’s often very much not the case!

If you’re shy, then I bet it’s very frustrating. I know, I am shy too. Most people who know me well wouldn’t say I am – perhaps they would say I am the most ‘un-shy’ person they know. But the fact is, I don’t easily just walk up to someone and start chatting about stuff, full of charisma. It’s frustrating for me, because my job demands the charisma of me.

Do you feel this way too?

There is good news – there is a way through it. Over a number of years I’ve learned how I can conquer shyness (I am not there yet, but it’s a lot better for me). There are 7 things you can try, like I did, to get over the shyness.

1. Recognize you’re shy, and accept the responsibility to overcome it – it starts by accepting it, and taking responsibility for it. Only you can make you less shy, nobody else. So unless you’re prepared to take full responsibility for it, you’ll fail in your goal. The best way to start taking responsibility is to tell people about your shyness.

2. Watch how ‘non-shy’ people are, and learn – take some cues from non shy people and try replicating them. Be prepared to fail at first – this is part of the learning process. Having a role model (even if they don’t know they are) really helps.

3. Talk to somebody new every single day – it’s a small goal, but it will make a massive difference. You probably address many people in your day – the guy at security when you walk into your office, or the barista when you’re buying coffee, but instead, really talk to them; ask these people how they are, or say ‘Good Morning’ – anything that gives you an opportunity to speak clearly and positively.

4. Forget about YOU – one of the characteristics of shyness is a belief that everyone else is staring, or is judging, or harboring thoughts about us. Chances are – those people have too much going on in their own lives to be doing this, or are shy and are thinking the same about you too. The trick is to forget yourself – don’t even consider that other people find you interesting enough to stare, judge, or harbor thoughts. So take the focus off yourself, and place it on something else.

5. Accept the worst – if you must, try this. It’s a rough way of doing it, but it does work very well. When you face a situation (like a meeting) where your shyness will flare up, because you think people are going to laugh at you, talk about you, think bad of you, then accept that they already are. Face this truth you have created before you put yourself into the situation. Feel the hurt, and deal with the pain. When you’ve been through that, you’ll feel so much better about it that when you step into the situation, your shyness will have reduced by a mile.

6. Mix with non-shy people - OK, you’re stepping into the breach, but associating with non-shy people will help you learn by osmosis. It’s easier to learn something new when you’re mixing with the people who exhibit the skill. This might only be possible by mixing with folks outside of your core team. It’s the antithesis of mixing with shy people; you might feel more comfortable at first in this group, but in the long-run, you won’t be learning the skills and behaviors you’re trying to develop.

7. Don’t give up on people - one thing shy people tend to do (that is, if they haven’t accepted responsibility for their shyness) is to dismiss people outright if they have a bad experience. It’s a way of coping. But a bad experience is a good learning opportunity, and often, a single encounter is not a good measure of a person’s character. Don’t give up if someone rebuffs you or gives you a hard time because of your shyness. The workplace can be a harsh place at the best of times, but don’t let one exchange result in a dysfunctional team!

I hope you find these tips useful. They won’t all work overnight. Some might not work for you at all. But you won’t know until you’ve given them a go!

©2010 SimonStapleton.com. All Rights Reserved.

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The Mid Life Opportunity (www.MidLifeOp.com) is a community for Mid Lifers. Advice and Guidance will soon be available from The Mid Life Coaching Panel. It’s free to join so what are you waiting for?
If you would like some help now with aspects of your life, contact Better Life Coaching: www.betterlifecoaching.co.uk

5 secrets of the mid life mind

5 Secrets of the Middle-Aged Mind, by Barbara Strauch

The author of a provocative new book reveals the latest research on the grown-up brain.

Over the past few years, neuroscientists have upended much of what we thought we knew about our middle-aged brains. Using scanners and studying the results of new, more sophisticated long-term studies that have followed real people as they age, researchers themselves have been amazed by what they’ve found. Here are just a few of the surprising things they’ve recently uncovered:

1. We are smarter than ever in middle age. In most areas, including reasoning, we improve as we age, and peak cognitive performance actually occurs in our 40s through 60s – and not in our 20s, as many had thought. It’s true that some glitches develop: Remembering names gets harder, and brain-processing speed slows down. But for most of what we do in middle age, it turns out that those skills might not matter that much. In areas as diverse as inductive reasoning and vocabulary, our brains continue to develop. What’s more, as we age we get better at getting the "gist” of arguments, making judgments of character, or even finances. And each generation is now smarter than its parents were in middle age.

2. We grow happier with age. We’ve all been conditioned to dread middle age, a time of midlife crises and empty nests. But there is no evidence for such widespread angst. Instead, research shows that we actually become happier during this period. In part, this is because our brains start acting differently by reacting less to the negative, a trait that may have developed because the grown-ups who were more optimistic could take better care of their young. And the idea that we get more depressed or troubled in midlife is a myth. New long-term studies that have followed real people in their lives for years find that men and women have a greater sense of well-being in middle age. Those who are in crisis, the studies show, have tended to have crises throughout their lives, not just in middle age.

We've all been conditioned to dread middle age. But ... we actually become happier during this period.

3. The brain does not lose millions of brain cells. For years, researchers thought our brains lost up to 30 percent of their neurons as we got older. That idea led science to largely ignore the brain as it aged. Why waste time researching something that was going to decay on a set schedule? Now, new studies show that while we can lose brain connections if they are unused, we keep most of our brain cells for as long as we live. This means that the quest to find real ways to maintain our brain cells is now being taken up in earnest.

4. The brain is like the heart: It needs blood. Nutrients, as well as certain growth chemicals produced by muscles when they exercise, are now known to cross the blood-brain barrier into the brain, which needs healthy blood flow as much as our heart. This, too, overturns longtime scientific dogma that for many years said the brain was protected, but also was so insulated that it could not be improved. There are many things we can do to keep our brains in gear. Indeed, exercise has now been shown to be one of the best things you can do. Not only does exercise pump blood through our brain’s blood vessels, but it also prompts the creation of new brain cells, even at older ages. Scientists at Columbia University and elsewhere have watched these new cells be born in the brains of animals and humans who have exercised.

5. Crossword puzzles are not enough. In fact, if we want to keep our brains sharp, we need to move beyond just recalling information we know (the main activity with crossword puzzles) and instead push them to experience new ideas to create and nourish new brain connections. This can mean anything that gets us out of our "comfort zones,” including making new friends, learning to play the cello — or even confronting ideas and people who disagree with us. One longtime researcher at Columbia University says that if we want our grown-up brains to stretch, we have to present them with a "disorienting dilemma” — in particular ideas or concepts that challenge our view of the world. As one researcher put it, we need to "shake up the cognitive egg" and push ourselves to consider other viewpoints.

The point is that we need not passively accept decline. If our brains are healthy, we can keep them functioning well, even into old age. But to do that, we need to continue to make them work — hard.

Barbara Strauch is deputy science editor at The New York Times. Her new book is The Secret Life of the Grown Up Brain: The Surprising Talents of the Middle Aged Mind. Visit Barbara’s website by clicking here.

Are you a Mid Life Lark or a Mid Life Owl?

The vast majority of people are either “Morning types” (Larks) or “Evening types” (Owls). This is governed by our own natural body clock and it is not something that we are at liberty to tinker with. You are at your most productive either at the beginning of the day or the end of the day. Some jobs obviously suit particular types. Delivering the post or the morning milk is clearly a job for a Morning Type. Working in a nightclub is not! If you're thinking of changing your job or you are actively job hunting, being aware of whether you are a Lark or an Owl is important. You haven't changed your type during your working life to date and you're unlikely to change in the future.

You need to organise your working day around your type. If you are a Morning type, then plan your main tasks for the beginning of the day. It will be fatal to leave important (but possibly unappealing tasks) until after lunch. The afternoon will arrive, you will look at the task and decide that “as I am a Morning type, I’ll leave this until tomorrow morning.” Taken to its logical conclusion, tomorrow never comes and you can find yourself putting the task off until it is really too late.

If you are an Evening type you should plan those important tasks for later in the day. You should also arrange your meetings at this time when you are at your most productive and most alert. Start the day with the routine tasks that don’t require a lot of brainpower. But beware of falling in to the trap of concentrating on the easy (and possibly more enjoyable) tasks throughout the whole day. This may sound simple but just take a moment to think about some of your recent working days. Have you been as productive as you should have been? If not, have you tried to address tasks at the wrong time of the day with predictable outcomes?

When you are thinking about your Mid Life career move, try to uncover the culture of the company that you are considering working for. In order for you to be happy in a new role, the culture of the company has to map to your own. If you're a morning person you will want to arrive at work early. If you find yourself working in a culture where nobody leaves until the boss has gone home in the evening, you may not thrive!

The Mid Life Opportunity (www.MidLifeOp.com) is a community for Mid Lifers. Advice and Guidance will soon be available from The Mid Life Coaching Panel. It’s free to join so what are you waiting for?

If you would like some help now with aspects of your life, contact Better Life Coaching: www.betterlifecoaching.co.uk

The Mid Life Crossroads

Many people feel as if they have reached a crossroads at some point during their mid life. They can see two (or more) paths in front of them. One path is a continuation of their current life, the other(s) leads off in different directions. The relative size of the paths will dictate which path the Mid Lifer chooses to take. If the current life path looks like a motorway (freeway) and the alternatives look like country lanes, it is likely that our Mid Lifer will continue with their current life. They might dally for a while down one of the country lanes (change their wardrobe, take an evening class) but their life won’t change dramatically. But if one of the alternatives looks like a motorway, and the current life path looks like a gravel track, then watch out – change is coming. For better or for worse.

It may be a change of career, a new relationship or a full blown mid life crisis.

Seeing the crossroads up ahead can seem quite daunting but it can also be quite liberating, It’s very easy to be ‘stuck in a rut’ and we all know people who are stuck in their own rut. They’re not happy, they moan about most aspects of their life but they are too frightened or lazy to do anything about it. They will be the people who get to the end of their lives and think ‘if only…’

Sometimes the crossroads appear out of nowhere, like driving in the fog. You might be made redundant or your partner might decide that their relationship with you just isn’t working any longer. These crossroads are much more difficult to manage as you don’t feel in control. You feel like ‘flotsam and jetsam’ tossed around by the tide and pitching up on the shore at some point but not the point where you’d like to be.

The important thing is to take the positive view – yes, it’s easier said than done but there is always a positive angle to every situation. If the crossroads is thrust upon you and you suddenly find yourself travelling down a strange road, stop, take stock and regroup.

Understand that you’re not alone. You won’t be the first person to travel down this road (or the last). You will have friends or relatives that can help you. If not, there are self help groups everywhere which you can tap into – the internet is a wonderful, life changing development!

Next time, we’ll look at the some of the typical mid life crossroads and some suggestions on how to manage them.

The Mid Life Opportunity (www.MidLifeOp.com) is a community for Mid Lifers. Advice and Guidance will soon be available from The Mid Life Coaching Panel. It’s free to join so what are you waiting for?

If you would like some help now with aspects of your life, contact Better Life Coaching: www.betterlifecoaching.co.uk

Mid Life - a time to shed shells

Adult life has been described as a series of cycles. Throughout these cycles we build life structures that later need to be revised or abandoned. Changes come, and we need a more suitable life pattern. Old structures that no longer serve us can block our personal growth leaving us with a 'smile off' life existence.

My own midlife experience will testify it's not easy for us to shed shells, because the current one is comfortable and known. Inertia can be powerful, but if we refuse to make appropriate changes, we sabotage our own lives. Stagnation and loss of our smile feed on such an attitude. How often have you heard someone say: "This job is soul destroying, but I'm making good money and we're just at the point of being financially comfortable. How can I afford to make a change?" Such questions should make us look more carefully at the life we are leading and lay out some options. Will a small change make a difference? Or is a more radical step needed?

We, as a family, took the radical approach of shell shedding by stopping the world and getting off for a year to live on the quite and peaceful Island of Fuerteventura. What ever you decide, as you shed shells it is normal to go through a period of personal soul searching: thinking about the future and even shutting out the world to some extent.

This soul searching is particularly acute when we face one of life's three 'un's.' The unexpected, the uninvited and the unthinkable: divorce, widowhood, job loss, or serious illness. Dealing with these life 'un's' requires unhurried and quiet time to cope with endings and losses, to sort things out and focus on the future. With the support of others, and our own efforts, a new life pattern gradually emerges bringing with it a new found smile.

Colin writes about how to find your smile, discover your right livelihood and create your ideal life at Midlife Maverick. If you enjoyed this article you may wish to download his acclaimed free e-course, "Live Your Own Life, Only Better!"http://midlifemaverick.com/live-your-own-life-only-better Or, Join his ezine and get "Breaking Free" ebook as a gift.http://www.midlifemaverick.com/breaking-free Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Colin_Hiles For help and advice in Mid Life: http://www.MidLifeOp.com

Life Lessons - written by a 90 year old

The list below was written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio:
To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay cheque.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

For help and advice in Mid Life: www.MidLifeOp.com